week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
