Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
