Just fell off a train. Bad.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
