My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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