this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
operation harelip BJ is a go
You're earring is so big in my mouth
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
