it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
