So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
