You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
