Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
