No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
