There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
