for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
