he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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