I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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