i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
