this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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