The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
