from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
