Do vagina's smell?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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