I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Everyone says I win the strip club
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
