some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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