Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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