SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
