True but thats because hes a fetus.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
