if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
