Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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