Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
