I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
