It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
