I have demons in me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
