Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
