then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
