so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
