Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
