Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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