the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
