Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he was CRYING into my vagina
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
