I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
