Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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