Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
