She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
