You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
