Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
