FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
