were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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