toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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