sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
