so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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