wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
