They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
