maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
