Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
