Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
