Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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