I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
