just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
